Good manners in Spanish. How to be polite in Hispanic culture?

Today we bring you a super useful article if your goal is integrate into Spanish society and act as politely as possible.

Let's talk about good manners in Spanish. 

Throughout the entire article we will give you the best courtesy formulas and examples of good manners so that you can be the most courteous person in the country. 👌

What is courtesy?

Courtesy is a set of social behaviors that are considered appropriate in a culture.

Courtesy is essential to interact with other people, as it is a show of respect, kindness and empathy towards others.

A highly educated person is a person with great emotional intelligence.

In this article we will teach you what words and what grammar can be used to express courtesy in different situations.

If you apply everything we are going to explain to you, you will become a super-educated foreign person. Spaniards will love talking to you 😉.

What does it mean to be polite?

As we have mentioned before, being polite means being polite, kind and respectful with others. 

There are many ways to show courtesy, both with our verbal language as with him non-verbal language.

Courtesy is the maxim of communication

When we say that courtesy is the maxim of communication, it means that It is something fundamental. 

It is very pleasant to talk to someone who uses polite words, who listens to us attentively and who smiles at us.

On the other hand, no one likes to talk to a person who speaks to us in a dry manner, who looks down on us, or who expresses himself too seriously.

Therefore, if you learn to be polite in another language, you will be much more successful when it comes to make friends and find work. There are many things you need to know about the courtesy in Spanish. 

Don't worry, we are going to explain everything to you little by little.

Each culture has its courtesy codes

Courtesy and good manners exist throughout the world. 

Now well, each culture has its courtesy codes, and many times the good manners of one country are not so correct in other cultures. 

Or, conversely, a rude action in one culture may be completely normal in another country.

Show good manners and courtesy in Spanish

Show good manners and courtesy in Spanish is easy.

We already know the meaning of courtesy, but we have not talked about good manners. 

What are manners? 

The truth is that the difference between courtesy and manners is very subtle. Courtesy refers above all to the way we treat people. If it is good, you will be polite.

Instead, the Manners are a series of social behaviors that mark what is polite and what is not. Manners may vary in each country.

Do you want to see some examples of good manners that change according to culture? 

For example, in most Western countries, slurping soup is a rude action. 

However, in Asian countries, doing this is part of good table manners, as it shows that you are enjoying the food and praises the chef's good performance.

Do you now understand the difference between manners and courtesy? Yeah? Brilliant! 👏🏻

Let's start talking about the basic forms of courtesy in Spanish: greetings and the goodbyes.

Greetings

Greeting is the basis of good education, practically in any culture. 

Not greeting is a lack of respect. To avoid this, we are going to give you a good repertoire of greetings in spanish, so you can choose the ones you like the most.

The most common way to greet is by word "hello". This word can be said at any time of the day to greet.

Although if we want to show more courtesy, the greetings in spanish common ones used are:

• Good morning.
• Good afternoon.
• Good night.

If we want to go a little further than the greetings of good afternoon, good morning and good night, we can also ask the person about their mood: 

• How are you? 
• How are you?
• How's it going?

Do you want more greetings and examples of this type? Here you have more:

• What's up?
• How are you doing?
• How's everything?
• How are you doing?

Farewells

Say goodbye It is a very important gesture of cordiality. How ugly when someone leaves without saying goodbye!

The most common words for it are: 

• Goodbye.
• See you later.
• See you soon.
• See you tomorrow.

Another very polite way to say goodbye to someone is to wish them a good rest using the structure ofWHAT + SUBJUNCTIVE: 

• May you rest.

Or we can also wish someone a good day or weekend: 

• Have a good weekend.

Basic expressions to thank, congratulate and others

In addition to greetings and farewells, we also have other basic expressions for thank you, congratulate or express condolences.

Thank you

A person who express gratitude It is a sign of very good education on their part.

How to thank a person for something good they have done for us? You can thank a friend, acquaintance, family member or stranger in many ways.

The most common way is to use the word "thank you" and other related phrases to thank a person: 

• Thank you.
• Thank you so much.
• Thanks a lot.
• Thank you very much.
• Thank you with all my heart.

Thank you has a synonym which is verb thank. We can use it in different ways. 

• I appreciate your help.
• I really appreciate you being so kind to me. 
• I am very grateful to you.
• I don't know how to thank you for what you've done for me.

If we are chatting with someone via email and we want to thank them, the words and phrases above are totally valid. 

Although in the written record, it is normal for us to use more formal language. So, ¿how to say thank you in writing in a very formal way? 

Here are some ideas:

• I thank you in advance for your help. 
• My most sincere thanks.
• I would greatly appreciate your help.
• I appreciate your consideration in this matter and look forward to your continued support in the future.
• Allow me to express my gratitude for your time and dedication.

And how do you respond to a person's gratitude? The normal thing is to say «you're welcome».

Example: 

• Enrique: «Thank you very much for your help!
• Antonio: «¡You're welcome! "That's what we are for."

congratulate

When something good has happened to someone or it is an important day for that person, such as their birthday or wedding day, the polite thing to do is to congratulate them. We also have many words to congratulate:

• Congratulations!
• Congratulations!
• Congratulations!
• Bravo!
• I'm very happy for you.
• It's great news

We give you some examples so you can see these words in context:

• «Are you getting married next year? Congratulations!
• «Have you gotten a promotion in your company? Congratulations! I'm very happy for you.

Others

We have other words or expressions in other contexts. 

When someone sneeze we usually say:

• Jesus! 
• Health!

To express our condolences For a bad event to someone we know there are also many words of respect, the most common are:

• I'm very sorry.
• My deepest condolences.
• My condolences.
• I am very sorry for your loss.
• I am very sorry for your pain.
• If you need anything, you can count on me.
• I accompany you in the feeling.

Sometimes people also want to help others by making them see that their problems are not so serious. They can be considered as words of encouragement. Some words or expressions that serve this purpose are:

• Come on, it's not that big of a deal.
• No problem.
• I'm sure everything will be fine.
• Don't worry.
• Don't stress about it.

The use of "thank you" and "please" in Hispanic culture

To show education, there is two keywords that cannot be missing from your vocabulary. They are "please" and "thank you".

The value of “thank you”: When to use it?

As the saying goes: «It is well born, to be grateful". 

When we do a favor for someone, no matter how small, we like to be thanked.

A person who never says "thank you" when someone does something good for her. 

So, always try to use words to say thank you for a nice gesture that someone has had for you, when someone helps you, gives you a compliment, or simply treated you very well. 

Thus, that person will take a good image of you.

Now, if you start to gain confidence with a Spanish person and you notice that they say the word "thank you" less and less, don't worry. It's totally normal.

It doesn't mean he's losing respect for you, but the other way around. We Spaniards do not usually be so correct with the people in our family or with our closest friends.

Therefore, if you notice that a friend speaks to you with more familiarity and less courtesy, it is a good thing. It means that you are entering his circle of trust 😉.

The value of "please." In what contexts is it not necessary?

"Please" is another of the key words of courtesy. 

This word can be used in many situations:

• When we want Someone help us with something, such as when we ask for an address or want to know the time.

«Help please. Could you tell me how I can get to the historic center of Valencia?

«Could you tell me what time is it please?».

• It can also be used for request something or make a request:

"Could you bring me the account please?».

«When you go out, close the door please».

«I want to ask a beer please».

«I'm a little depressed. Tell me a joke, please».

«We are in a library. Silence please».

«Can you turn down the volume of the music please? I need to sleep.

«Give me a good plate full please. "I'm very hungry."

• We also use it as response to a favor What someone is going to do to us without even asking.

"Do you want me to bring you the salt?"

"Yes please. "You are very attentive."

The use of "please" between strangers It's very good. You will always be better served if you are polite than if you are not.

However, with family and friends it is different. In these cases the word is hardly used "please". 

We Spaniards don't like formality too much when we are with our loved ones. 

With these people we want to be ourselves and express ourselves freely. Therefore, courtesy is not so necessary. It is assumed that these people already love us and that they will try to help us whenever they can.

Just because we don't use the words "please" as much to ask for something when we are with family or friends does not mean that we are rude.

There are many other ways to express courtesy that we use almost without realizing it. We present them to you below.

The conditional: the perfect ally to ask and give orders

The simple conditional It is the best time in Spanish if we want to ask permission, ask a favor or give orders in the most educated possible.

With the help of conditional, you can demonstrate your good manners at home, at school, at work or anywhere you are.

We present some of the most common structures and verbs that we use with the courtesy conditional:

You could + infinitive 

The second person singular of the verb power in simple conditional It is the most used verbal form to respectfully ask someone for something.

Examples: 

• ""Could you correct me If I say words incorrectly? "I'm learning Spanish and I need to practice it."
• «you could repeat the question again? "I haven't heard it well."

In this sense, the verb power can also go in present, although it would not be so polite anymore.

Example:

• ""can you tell me the time?"

If you are going to ask a stranger or someone with whom you do not have much trust, we recommend that you use the conditional and also "please".

On the other hand, we can also express permission with the first person singular of the verb power in the conditional.

Example:

• "could open the window? "I'm very hot."

It would be good/better/convenient/perfect…

Another way to express courtesy is through valuation structures. In this case we have the verb to be in conditional + adjective. 

This way we can give an opinion politely, without anyone feeling pressured or offended. 

If the structure is aimed at someone in particular, we must put the verb in imperfect subjunctive:

Examples:

• «It would be good if you had "be more careful when driving the car."
• «It would be convenient for you to come punctual next time.

We can also speak in general, using a infinitive:

Examples: 

• «It would be convenient to have more free time.
• «It would be appropriate to do more sport.

I that you / I in your place + conditional

In addition to politeness, the conditional has more uses. We can also give tips with the following structures:

• I that you + conditional
• Me in your place + conditional

Examples:

• «If you want to get strong, I would go if you were "to the gym to train."
• «Are you going to visit Valencia? then If I were you I would visit The City of Arts and Sciences.

"I would like" to express wishes 

With the verb want in the conditional we can ask our wishes or ask for something we would like other people to do. To do this, we have three possible structures:

• would like + noun (desire to have something)

«I I would like a cake chocolate, please.

• would like + infinitive (desire to do something)

«Shewould like to buy a flat in this area.

• I would like + that + subjunctive (I wish someone else would do something)

«I would like you to be more polite when you talk to me.

I would like / wanted: ways to ask politely

Do you know that the verb want in past imperfect (wanted) also works for ask for things politely?

Both “would like” and “would like” are very convenient forms when we ask for something in stores or stores. Take a good look at the following examples:

• "Hello, I want "A cup of coffee, please."
• "Hello, I would like "A cup of coffee, please."
• "Hello, I wanted "A cup of coffee, please."

Which of the three seems least educated to you? 

The first one, right? 

The present sounds too direct. The conditional or the imperfect tense soften the request, they make it much more respectful. 

In this way, it doesn't sound like an obligation that the waiter must do, but rather something that if the waiter does we would be very grateful.

So, you know, the next time you order a coffee in a cafe, a dish in a restaurant or an item of clothing in a store, use the verb in the conditional or in the past imperfect tense🙌🏻.

In addition to the choice of verb tense, there are some phrases that will make your even more respectful requests. We give you some practical examples:

• «I would like to pay by card, please».
• «I wanted to know information about this school, if you are so kind».
• «I would like a cappuccino, when you can».
• «I would like you to inform me of the requirements of the job offer,if you don't mind».
• «I would like a cheesecake, if it can be».

These phrases are super useful and easy to learn, they will make your Spanish sound very correct and will differentiate you from the vast majority of foreigners😉.

I would like + infinitive / + that + subjunctive

The verb want is not the only one that expresses wishes or desires. The verb gustar in the conditional It has exactly the same function.

Examples:

• «I would like to eat on a table on the terrace, do you have free space?
• «I would like you to cut me hair this afternoon, if possible.

The double imperative

Surely you have ever heard a Spaniard tell you: «pass, pass😊».

We know this may sound a little bad, because they are two imperatives and this mode is usually used to give very direct orders.

On the other hand, as paradoxical as it may sound, when we repeat the same imperative twice, stops being an order and becomes a offer most cordial 😁.

Some of the most common double imperatives of offering are:

• Come in, come in (invites you to pass by or enter a place).
• Sit down, sit down (invites you to sit down).
• Tell me, tell me (invites you to speak or ask a question).

Talk about you or about you

¿What does "you" mean?? It is the most polite way to refer to "you".

When talking about you, we always conjugate the verbs in third person of the singular (you) or the plural (ustedes). 

There is also a abbreviation of you: «Ud» or «Vd». In plural it is "Uds" or "Vds".

We use "you" especially to speak witholder people or with unknown. 

Although be careful, there are many people who get offended if you call them "you" because that makes them feel like they are very old people.

In Spain, we also do not usually use phrases to talk about yourself at work, not even with our boss or teacher, it sounds too formal. 

Remember that, for Spaniards, as soon as there is a little trust, the normal thing is to adopt a closer language, from person to person. 

This may surprise you. Maybe you are wondering: 

• ""How to chat to your boss?
• "Is it possible to talk to a police officer about yourself?"

Well yes. And, in fact, we do. But never forget to use the phrases of good manners in general that we have taught you previously and that we will continue to see throughout the article.

On the other hand, it is highly recommended to use the form of you when you work facing the publicFor example, in a hotel or a luxurious restaurant:

Example: 

• ""How are you? Did you enjoy your stay at our hotel? come back tomorrow».

The value of silence

This is something that is shocking for many cultures, and many Spaniards silence usually makes us uncomfortable. 

It is rare that there are long silences between two Spanish friends, the normal thing is that there is a lot of talking.

If the conversation is not flowing too much, we usually resort to filler words.

These words simply They are intended to fill in the gapsin the conversation or to clarify something that has been explained. Some of the most typical are:

• Well that...
• Okay…
• Let's see...
• Well nothing...
• Finally…
• But well...

Or typical sounds like “emmm” which means we are thinking about our answer or a new question.

Answer the questions they ask you, even if you don't have the information

We know this point may sound a little strange. Does that mean that when we Spaniards ask us something that we don't know, we respond with a lie?

No, it's not about that. Of course no need to lie. But we will always try to help the person, even though we don't have the answer.

And so, is it possible to help someone if we don't know the answer? Of course, we show you how to do it.

 The importance of being helpful and collaborating

Maybe we don't know how to give a person an answer, but we can offer them a resource to find it or another similar alternative.

For example, imagine that you are on the street and someone asks you about the location of a movie theater that you don't know. 

You can tell him: 

• «Sorry, I don't know where that cinema is, goodbye».

The other person will surely be a little sad because you barely stopped to help them. You have only limited yourself to saying that you don't know and that's it.

Instead of doing this, what an educated Spaniard would do would be the following:

• «Sorry, I don't know where that cinema is, but I know another one that is very close to here. If you are interested, I will tell you how to get there. 

This second way of acting seems much morecollaborative and helpful, right? 

Even if you don't know the answer, you are showing interest in helping to that person by offering another related possibility. 

How do you think the other person will feel? Even if you haven't been able to respond to her query, she will surely be much more grateful to you.

The future of probability

Another way that we Spaniards have to respond, even if we do not have the information, is by using the probability future.

This is very funny to our students in Hispania, Spanish school: 

• "Why answer if you don't know the answer?" They always ask. 

That's how we are, if we don't give an answer to a question, we feel bad.

So that you understand how we use the probability future, we are going to show you with an example:

• George: "Excuse me, do you know what time it is?"
• Lola: "I have no idea, but they will be 5:00 p.m. more or less.

Lola, so as not to look bad, tells Jorge what time she thinks it is. It is a way of expressing that you don't know the answer, but you want to help to that person by telling them what you think about the question.

So, remember, if you don't know the answer to a question and want to be polite, use the future probability for at least give your opinion and show interest.

Don't just give a negative answer, that looks terrible!

Justify what you do

Another way to be polite is by justification. Sometimes we do things that are not very well regarded, or that may be shocking. For that, it is important to justify ourselves and say why we are doing it.

For example, imagine that a colleague goes to the office with a sports backpack and a gym mat. 

He's not doing anything bad to anyone or being disrespectful, but it does seem a little strange for an employee to bring that to the office.

If you justify bringing that luggage because you go to the gym after work and don't have time to come home to change, your colleagues will already know the reason and there will be no reason to think badly.

 It's just...

And how can we express the justification in Spanish? The most used grammar is through the causal connector "is that". 

For example:

• John: "Why did you bring a mat to work?"
• Lola: «Yes, is that "After work I go to the gym and I don't have time to come home to change."

Compliment people

Another thing that will increase your level of courtesy multiplied by a thousand is make compliments to the people. 

It's not about flattering all the time. As we Spaniards say: play ball. We don't want that.

It is simply about making a sincere compliment about something we really like about that person.

For example, if a classmate comes to class one day wearing a really nice jacket, tell him/her! 

The simple act of telling him that you like his jacket will make that person happy and surely will have you in better esteem.

Next, let's look at sometypical structures to make compliments in Spanish.

Exclamatory structures 

The exclamatory structures They are the most common to say compliments to people. They are very short phrases but they have a lot of power in their words.

We have several:

WHAT + NOUN + MORE/SO + ADJECTIVE!

when we want praise something about a person, we use this structure. The words "more" and "so" In these sentences they have the same meaning.

Examples:

• «¡What elegant shoes you wear today!
• «!What a deep look you have!

WHAT + ADJECTIVE!

With this simple structure, we can praise a quality of someone.

Examples:

• «Thank you for your help,how kind you are!
• «I love going out to party with you,how fun you are!

Other structures

Although exclamatory structures The above are the most common to give compliments, there are others that are also frequently used. We present them to you:

You are very good/great + infinitive

The verb "do well/great" is used to highlight that we have talent to do an activity easily and with good results. 

The verb is conjugated like a gustar type verb, but we also add the pronoun "se" at the beginning with each person.

I'm good at it

You are good at it

He/she/you are good at it

We are good at it

You are good at it

They are good at it

Examples:

• «You are great at it paint, I love your drawings.
• «You are good at itspeaking in public, you communicate phenomenally.

How I like it + noun/infinitive!

With this structure we express how much we like something about someone or doing an action with someone.

Examples:

• «Your conversations are super interesting. ¡How I like to talk with you!».
• «!How I like your shirt! Where did you buy it?

Smile please

Finally, we cannot ignore one of the best actions we can do to appear polite and people like us: smile.

The value of the smile as communication

The smile It is a very important value for communication because it transmits kindness, trust and closeness.

Who do you prefer to talk to? With a person who looks at you with distance and seriousness? Or with someone who welcomes you with an honest smile?

You probably prefer the second person, right?

Well, think about that every time you talk to someone you don't know, show yourself smiling and you will see how your interaction with that person goes well.

In Hispania, Spanish school, we are very aware of how important a smile and kindness are to make interpersonal relationships more fruitful. 

Our motto is: «Smile, you are in Hispania!😊».

Apart from learning Spanish in our face-to-face Spanish courses and in our online Spanish courses, You will be welcomed by a team of expert teachers who will give you a unbeatable personal treatment.

When a student has fun and feels comfortable, learn much better. That is why courtesy and respect are so important to us.

Did you like the article? We have created an authentic academy of good manners 😁. 

Surely you have learned many new ways of express courtesy in Spanish that you didn't know before.

Which one caught your attention the most and why?

Write us a comment and we'll talk.

See you soon!

Article written by Carlos Martinez for Hispania, Spanish school. 

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